Social Skills: How Important Are They?

Good social skills are more than just knowing good etiquette, although of course, it includes that too. Perhaps because of the perceived exclusive attitudes at are associated with good manners, you might be one of many who shudder whenever you hear or read about the importance of good manners.

The simple truth is that being skilled socially means that people are comfortable around you and find it a pleasant and enjoyable experience.

If you behave poorly in social situations, you might be getting in your own way in terms of personal development because you will be getting in your own way. This is because being around you may not very comfortable or enjoyable, and the resulting situation might be that you alienate people.

As we work on our own self improvement, we also realize that we are all inter-dependent to some extent and while the self growth is personal, we do have to take what we become into the outside world. Why not remove those barriers? If you don't, the world will have limits.

The wonderful book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman discusses this in part and is definitely worth reading.

The problem here is that some people might confuse good behavior with knowing every single etiquette rule. While etiquette rules are important and should be followed whenever possible to keep things simple, all you really have to do is keep a reference book to occasionally check it as needed. It isn’t a big deal if you do make the occasional mistake.

If you’re a bit sensitive about how you might be perceived and you don’t want to highlight humble origins (nothing wrong with humble origins-just think back to Roberto Benigni’s Oscar acceptance speech, when he thanked his parents for being poor!) or any perceived current lack.

But good social skills are much more than just knowing good etiquette, so it’s natural for some people to think they have great manners, when in fact, they have very poor ones. People are often shocked to find out that their manners are lacking, which of course means, that others might find it not exactly enjoyable to have social contact with them, or perhaps failing to introduce them to someone, like a business contact, because of the possibility of being embarrassed and have it reflect badly on themselves.

At some point, the world of business and social acquaintances blend in, so how are your skills, really? Are they helping you on your journey towards self improvement or are they getting in your way?

Put quite simply, good social skills involve being considerate of others. It goes beyond the maxim, “Do onto others as you’d have them do onto you,” although that’s a good rule of thumb to follow. Keep in mind though, that we all have different ideas of what is considerate and what is not. What might not be a big deal to you might be an enormous deal to someone else and good social skills dictate that you place yourself in someone else’s shoes and behave accordingly.

To have good social skills, you need to take your appearance, , communication skills, including listeningskills, your manners and how you conduct yourself in public. You can work on this on your own, by,reading a variety of great books on the subject, or you may benefit by working with a life coach. That would definitely give you very real feedback, and if you need to polish up your skills, it might be wise to give this form of coaching a try.

This article was featured in The Eighth Edition of the Carnival of Improving Life.

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