Self Esteem: What is it?

Very simply, self esteem is how well you think and feel about yourself. Your self esteem will determine everything from the company you keep to how much money you’ll make. It will also hugely impact on how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you.

Building self esteem and self confidence starts in your mind. It is not something that you can do from the outside in, it’s only from the inside out.

Many people shy away from using affirmations, but the truth is, everyone uses them already without realizing it. The only problem is that they’re probably using negative affirmations like referring to themselves as being “stupid,” and saying things like, “these bad things always happen to me.” Most people repeat these negative statements to themselves. This limits their self improvement progress, and actually creates more negative situations.

If this sounds like you, then you need to take action right away. Start by re-programming your thinking pattens by eliminating the negative statements with positive affirmations which re-condition you to think better thoughts about yourself.

Another important factor in feeling better about yourself, is to do an activity that makes you feel good. Ever notice how when you have something to look forward to, your mood elevates? It's no coincidence. Having a goal or a series of goals and steadily working towards them is vital in determining how good you feel about yourself.

With our students it was pretty obvious who felt good about themselves and who didn’t. Those who felt good about themselves had above average grades, good quality friends and eventually went to the better post-secondary schools or followed the career path they really wanted.

Students who suffered from low self esteem had low to failing grades, poor quality friendships and often didn’t graduate on time if at all. In addition, they treated people around them pretty badly and were not very pleasant to be around. There were many team building games we did with them that we'll be posting here shortly to help turn things around.

The correlation between self esteem and kids is the same for adults. Adults are not immune to their thoughts and feelings showing up one way or the other in their lives. Parents who valued themselves were more likely to pass these qualities onto their children, just as parents who did not possess these qualities also passed these poor qualities onto their children.

But just like kids, adults have more control over this than they may believe.

The causes of thinking poorly about yourself could stem from your past or could be the result of some negative experience from your day. The causes are endless, but the results are all the same. They are all very negative and continue a cycle of negativity.

The effects of thinking badly about yourself:

Action: Thinking unkind thoughts about yourself
Result: Speaking negatively towards yourself and allowing others to speak that way about you too. This makes you eventually believe what you’re telling yourself and also gives people permission for others to treat you badly.

Action: Believing that you are not worth the positive human experience
Result: You pretty much give permission to other people to make key decisions for you, causing you to have little to no control over your life.

Action: Not trusting your intuition
Result: You'll doubt yourself and fail to make important decisions.

Action: Playing out the worst case scenario
Result: You get what you expect and if you’re planning for the worst, expect it.

Action: Listening to life’s critics
Result: You follow the majority and end up just like them.

This looks pretty depressing, but it isn’t if you’ve realized the need for change.

The effects of thinking positively about yourself:

Now let’s look at how your life can be improved with high self esteem:

Action: Thinking kind, self empowering thoughts about yourself
Result: You become a mountain of strength, squashing doubt at the root and paving your way to success.

Action: Believing that you have a right to the best life has to offer
Result: You go forward in life, reaching for your goals—you know you deserve what you want.

Action: Trusting yourself
Result: You gain something better than the eye can see. This happens when you let higher forces guide you on the correct path despite what others may say.

Action: Expecting the best
Result: Have you ever heard the expression, “Be careful for what you wish for because sometimes you might get it”?

Action: Having faith in your abilities and using your talents
Result: You'll live your passion, thus never having to work a day in your life.

Re-read this section and identify where you feel that you could improve and then take our quiz to find out what your self esteem is like.

Be sure to read our article on building self esteem and building self confidence.

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