Learned Helplessness Getting in Your Way?

What is learned helplessness?:

Actually, it's pretty much just as it sounds. Someone who suffers from this, has basically learned to feel helpless. To be helpless, you feel that you cannot help yourself, that your trying will result in failure regardless of your actions, that failure is the only result possible despite your best efforts. This is called "learned helplessness" because this behaviour is learned. Both adults and children who do suffer from this have in a sense learned to feel helpless. How? They failed at something once or most likely, more than once, and so got used to the idea that they would fail if they were to try again. This unfortunately also spills out into other areas. For example, if someone fails at task A, then they will believe that failure will happen again if they were to try. With enough pain and negative association, those who fail at one task (task A), might also believe that they will fail at a related task or even a task totally unlike task A. Self-esteem takes a plunge and affects all else, thus learned helplessness seeps into many and sometimes, even all areas of life. It's the whole idea that past failures equals future failures, which of course is not necessarily true.

It's important to distinguish the difference between realizing our limitations at something, which is a vital part of life, and feeling incorrectly that our efforts are futile. This is truly debilitating because it stops us from moving towards our goals because we believe that it's of no use. Take out this negative belief and we actually have courage to move ahead.

Is it getting in your way?:

If you believe that you will fail at a goal that you really want simply because you already have, then perhaps you are being held back by the belief that all your attempts are a waste of time and energy. If your past failures or lack of success are stopping you from achieving now, then it might be because of learned helplessness.

How to overcome it:

There are a few things you can do to overcome this.

• First, it's important to understand it for what it is and face the fear.
• Second, it's crucial that you know and believe that the past doesn't necessarily equal the future.
• Third, decide that you will take action to change it. Exactly what action? Decide that you will begin to improve the language you use to talk to yourself about this issue. Be kind.

Give yourself permission to try again. Make any needed modifications to help you succeed. And persist, persist, persist.

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