Good Parenting Skills:
How to be a Good Role Model for Your Kids

Good parenting skills can be learned by any willing parent, and most parents fret over how to be good parents. Naturally, better parents are what most parents strive for and the focus is often on what to do directly regarding children.

While there are countless articles on parenting giving much good advice about how to handle your children, there seems to be very few articles on parenting that discuss parents looking inward at themselves as a technique to provide insight into their parenting skills.

Most parents can't do enough for their kids and it's obvious that most parents consistently put their children way ahead of themselves and think they're doing a good thing. The opposite, may in fact, be true.

When parents don't pay enough attention to their own lives, they are failing their children in a very serious way. To children, parents are the supreme human authority. In a parent, a child sees who they are and in a sense, who they will become. This happens at a very early age and so, makes quite an impression. Good parenting skills requires that you acknowledge this.

What do your children learn from you? Almost everything, from talking to how to hold a fork, etc. Why wouldn't they learn your good habits as well as your bad? Why wouldn't they learn your point of view of the world, good or bad? At least, until they're old enough to formulate and articulate one of their own, which happens quite late.

So, who are you? You as a person. Good parenting skills require that you have a good grasp of this because how can you practice good parenting if you are confused about who you are in the world? And is this you that you've been showing your child the best you possible? Are you a good role model for your child? Simply put, would you want your child to grow up to have a life similiar to yours or be similiar to you? Yes? For the most part? Somewhat? A little bit? Not lately? Not really?

Regardless of how old your child is, and yes, that means adult children too, you can see be a good role model for your children. And if you haven't exactly been the best one, take heart, and move on and appreciate how important this is as a parenting skill.

How to use good parenting skills in role modeling for your kids:

First: Embrace a healthy lifestyle. That means eat right, excercise right, don't over-drink, don't smoke or do anything else that might lessen the time you're around to love, support and enjoy your kids. Show them how it's done, so that when they get to the age where you are now, they are really at their best. If you are struggling with any of this, such as your diet, work to improve this. Your kids will be inspired and proud of you. They will think of you're willingness to make great changes whenever they may need to. One thing that always seems like a burden to kids is having to worry about their parents' well-being. The worry consumes them and eats at them. They become so scared and sad thinking that anything might hurt their parents and children are astute enough to enough when their parents are not well, including continuing to smoke. Good parenting skills require that you take good care of yourself.

Besides, no one like a hypocrite, so if you're telling your child to eat their vegetables because it's good for them and you barely have any yourself, your child might think that you're unfair and you might confuse them about rules and who has to follow them.

Second: Surround yourself with good friends. You want your kids to be able to have good quality friends themselves, and by good quality we mean people who are honest, kind, interested in life, thoughtful, considerate, dependendable, and so on.

Take a look at your friends and ask yourself if you'd like your kids to have these friends as adults. Ending friendships might seem especially harsh, so you don't necessarily need to do that. But as a parent practicing good parenting skills, you must protect your child, and that means protecting their world. If someone is not good for your child, you must choose your child's well-being. If you have a friend who talks about stealing as a good thing and routinely arrives hours late for dinner at your home, then this is probably not someone you want around your child until their behavior improves. If you would like to continue your friendship, preferably doing so away from your child would be best. An important part of good parenting skills is to protect your child from negative influences.

Parents often don't like their children hanging around with certain kids because they believe them to be a bad influence, why would it be different for you? We are much like the company we keep.

Third: Show respect for humanity. Treat everyone with respect. It's easy for most people to show respect for others who are in a position of higher authority, like a boss, but many people forget to show respect for the countless people who perform really important services in the community.

Good parenting skills are always at work. How do you treat the waitress? How are you towards the gas station attentdant? The person answering in customer service when you are complaining about something? It's great to stand up for yourself and to expect good service, just like it's right to respect human dignity across the board. You probably don't want a child growing up to treat anyone who does a job for them like a "servant". We all serve our communities in different ways. A good parent passes on the important of placing value on each human being.

Fourth: Always be honest. In your dealings with everyone, remember to always be honest. This doesn't mean to lose tact and blurt out how fat Aunt Martha looks since you've last seen her. Mix in tact, compassion and honesty, and you have a pretty likeable human being. If you're given back the wrong change, show your child not to take advantage of others by returning the change. Your child will be very proud of you because they know that you're trusted to do the right thing. Good parenting skills require you to be on your toes to do the right thing and show your kids by example.

Fifth: Always be kind. Remember, everyone, old and young, is someone's else's child. If someone is unkind to your child, how do you feel? Why would you ever do that to someone else's child? Kindness is a wonderful quality in everyone. It's one of the most enjoyable to instill in your child and the best way to do so is to lead by example and show the way.

Sixth: Have integrity. Don't do things that don't reflect who you are. Be true to who you are. Show who you are. This, of course, requires a healthy does of self confidence. Don't bad-mouth people. This will encourage your child to know they should do the same.

Seventh: Treat your parents well. You're actually teaching your children how they should be treating you when you're older. Yes, your parents might not have been perfect, but did they try their best? If there's a rift, can it be resolved? Good parenting skills require that we instill a sense of respect and value for older family members.

Eighth: Surround yourself with family members. Kids love knowing who their cousins are and who so and so is. This works with adopted children, or friends adopted as family members who share holidays and weekends, etc. Families don't have to be blood-related, they just have to know they are a family, share a connectedness. Children need this and delight in building bonds with family members.

Ninth: Love your job. Not everyone has this luxury. If you don't love your job nor can you afford to lose it, get creative and look for a way of moving into another field. It may take some time, but better later than never. And in the meantime, try to leave work at work. This goes for people who love their work as well as those who don't.

Tenth: Follow your dreams as much as you can. Show your child that dreams are worth striving for at any age. See them glow with pride and joy when you achieve them.

Whether or not you embrace the fact that you are one of your child's role models, the fact remains: you are. Embrace this. And be the best one you can be! Good parenting skills demand it!

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