Better Parenting

Better Parenting is something all parents strive for, regardless of parenting styles. It's rare to find a person who doesn't want to do what's best for their children.

We've seen many struggles as parents work to improve their parenting skills, especially when it comes to parenting teenagers, as well as sometimes working through the difficult balance of effective parenting and discipline.

Better parenting is not always easy and there are always countless articles on better parenting to offer advice. For us, we've been in the middle of parent-child relationships in the classroom and this doesn't only affect student performance in the classroom, but in other areas of their lives. We've seen first-hand how relationships between parents and children work or don't work. Even when parents have the best of intentions, the results are sometimes not good. It is a great place to start. You want to be a better parent, so how to you achieve the goal of better parenting?

Although it the topic might be daunting, the actual actions for better parenting are not. There isn't one parenting style that we see work. Just some general rules seem to apply. The results in improving student performance, child self-worth, and better parent-child relationships are noticebly better.

20 Tips to Better Parenting:

1. Better Parenting: Be a better you. Show by example how to be the person you want your children to grow up to be.

2. Don't send kids to school without breakfast: Diets for kids are especically important because it will help them with concentrating, absorbing what they've learned and give them fuel for the ability to complete tasks. It's especially important to make sure kids have whole grains as part of their breakfast as well as protein. Also along the same lines, give kids healthy snacks like fruit, yogurt, a boiled egg, uncooked carrot sticks, etc. While nuts are a great snack, DO NOT send them to school with your child because chances are that at least one child in the school will have a severe allergy to nuts and even nuts in someone else's backpack could start off an allergic reaction that may be very serious. If you're at home where no one's allergic, it's a great snack and will be surprising filling.

Remember, a little goes a long way. Sometimes the parents we've spoken to say they've "tried" to get kids to eat breakfast. This needs to be done if you're serious about giving your child a fair shot at an education. Kids simply don't perform their best unless they've had a good breakfast.

3. Insist on an early bedtime: Kids regularly need more sleep than adults. Elementary and junior high school children should be in bed no later than 9:o0 p.m, while high school students should aim to be in bed by 9:30 p.m. School starts early and they need the minimum requirements for sleep. A lot of parents feel helpless when it comes to bedtime.

Some children, like adults, are generally night-owls, so if that's the case, you can decide to be more flexible on non-school nights. Parents tend to feel overwhelmed because you shouldn't force anyone to sleep. What you can do as parents is make sure your child is in a sleep-friendly environment.

Being a better parent, means keeping a calm environment in your home past 8:00 p.m. Sometimes students will recount parents having visitors routinely arriving as late as midnight and waking up the kids to greet them. Unless it's a once in a life-time opportunity to meet mom's best friend who is making a stop on her way to work at the North Pole for the next five years, etc., children should not be disturbed.

So when they go to their room or space where they sleep, the lights should be out, the computer should be shut down, the iPods taken away. There should be nothing to do but sleep peacefully. This results in fabulous changes with student performance.

4. Establish routine in your home: Kids of all ages crave routine. Teenagers often rebel against it, but they need it just as much as younger children. Of course there can be times when you modify things, so it's important to be flexible too. Routines though are a great grounding force. It provides a sense of safety and comfort.

In the classroom, whenever the routine is thrown off, children do not react well. They often go into panic mode. The little ones become scared and extremely needy, unable to focus until you explain what a new routine will be for the day. Teenagers often behave badly, acting and saying things they wouldn't ordinarily. You can even get input for kids in setting up a routine.

5. Assign chores: Such a lovely old-fashioned word for something our children need so badly. Studies have shown that it's a big determinate of how students will suceed in life. That's right. Kids who do chores tend to do better in life than kids who don't. It's no wonder. So when your kids complain that you're being mean, you can tell them that's not your intention, but being a better parent is.

Self-esteem comes from doing. We often see kids getting rewarded for doing little to nothing. Kids know when they've done something worthwhile versus when they don't. And for them to have self esteem, they need to feel that their work is valued. Assign chores for them to do around the house. Make sure they do it. If they don't, have meaningful consequences. If they love tv, then no tv for a day or two.

6. Don't be a push-over: Kids know how to play adults. You know, good cop, bad cop. Some kids will do it to their parents, to their teachers, etc. It's also known as the divide and conquer technique. It goes something like this: the child will act like you're the good parent, the one they favour and since you're so good, you're going to do everything they want. The other parent, the one who opposes their wish, becomes the bad parent. You don't want to be the bad parent, do you? Of course not. Child gets their wish. They often do this with other teachers, with teachers and parents, etc.

It's not that kids are trying to be manipulative, but it's hard to be a child when you have a strong will and others are in charge of every aspect of your life. So help your child and don't let them manipulate you. Don't be a push-over.

7. Keep your child's computer where you can see them working on it: And we don't mean, just see them type. We mean see what they're typing, who they're interacting with. Many kids go into chat rooms they shouldn't and this can be very, very dangerous. See what your child is doing.

Privacy? Everyone needs some, but not when it comes to computer use and children. Better parenting means nosy parenting. If you don't know what your kids are doing, that's a big problem. It can be much too dangerous. Seeing what your child is typing is also instrumental in knowing if they're doing they're home work. You'll be able to tell the difference between your child using the internet for school-related assignments and for fun. There's nothing wrong with harmless fun on the internet, like looking up music, but when children spend two hours on fun and none on homework is not good for their marks nor for their character.

Keep in mind though, that these days teachers often assign media-type assignments that they did not in your day because technology has changed so much and many curriculums offer media units. Ask to see the assignment, if you have doubts.

8. Help your child keep track of events and homework in their agendas: Children in junior high and in high school should rely on an agenda to keep track of important events and homework and assignments. Most schools give one out to children at the start of the year. If your child's school doesn't, then get one. It's key in being better organized and organization plays a key role in better achievement.

You can even keep a two-month calendar where your child does school work on the fridge or some other high-visible area to serve as a guide and reminder. Students are usually encouraged by teachers to write down their assignments on their agendas.

Sometimes parents ask teachers to write down assignments for kids and to give it to them. While some teachers don't mind doing this, you are really leaving your child out of a key process in their work. They need to learn how to be self-starters, to gain some independence and to trust themselves to at least get the work from their teacher. This is a very important and basic step, and failure to do this creates bad habits. Students might complete the assignments other people have written down, but what happens after? It's never been a good outcome in our experience.

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