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Better Parenting Tips ContinuedAs certified high school teachers, we're often asked for better parenting tips, so here are our better parenting tips 9-20 continued:  9. If your child says they don't have any homework or any assignments to complete, don't necessarily believe them: This can be quite painful for parents because if they trust their child when they say they have no homework and they in fact, do, then parents feel betrayed.
Kids, and many of them, don't like homework or assignments, so take heart. If they don't have homework for real, have them read or you can find some other material to complement what they're studying. You can find great info online as extra info for your child with whatever they're studying.
10. Help your child organize their binders: Poor organization really negatively affects student performance. When children are little, most of their work remains in the classroom, so the teacher really helps with organization. Still, they should have a calendar, pencil case and general notebook. When they get to high school, lack of organization can become a serious block to getting good grades. This seems to affect boys mostly, although of course, it also happens with girls. Better parenting tips would be incomplete if we did not stress the importance of helping to keep your child organized.
Your child should have a 2 inch binder for EACH subject, never one for all four or eight subjects. Also, everything that goes into a binder should have a place. Everything needs to be hole-punched. Everything.
Each binder should have six separate dividers broken down this way as part of our better parenting tips:
11. Spend time with your kids: It doesn't have to always be high-quality time, that is, doing something meaningful, although that's great too, but time where you can do things together and bond as a family. The single most important things that kids complained about when it came to their parents was not how many gifts they got, where they went with their parents, etc. It was not spending enough time with them. That's right, your kids want to spend time with you even if they don't say it. They crave it and they need it. Often parents look for better parenting tips to be complicated, but simply by talking with your child, laughing with your child, giving that child your attention helps thems a lot and is really important for their own happiness and for their achievement.
We can always tell students who don't have enough contact with their parents. Those are the kids who become so needy for adult attention that they will stop working on their assignment to speak with a teacher, argue with a teacher over absolutely nothing, acting out in class just to get adult attention. Any kind of adult attention is sought, even if it's negative, i.e. "Johnny, please complete your work," and "Johnny, please go to the office." In these cases, students' work becomes secondary. Speaking to teachers is great but a teacher is no substitute for a parent. 12. Tell your children you love them: You can never tell them enough. They make complain about it, but kids need to feel their parents love them and it shows in everything they do and in every way they behave in the world. Sometimes kids will not make bad decisions because it will hurt their parents. And they know it will hurt their parents since their parents love them so much. So, if they're running around with the wrong crowd, they begin to detach from that crowd once they know how loved they are and how much continuing this will cause their parents pain. Encourage your children to start a journal. We've provided some great journal topics that we've done with our students and have seen many positive results. You might also want to share some motivational quotes to inspire them to write their feelings down on paper.
13. Give your teenage children a clear picture of your finances: Not a typical better parenting tip, but a valid one. You don't need to overburden them, just give then an honest indication of what you can and cannot affort at the moment. Are you saving for something, like a vacation home? Let your kids in on the plan and they can be creative with what they really need or don't need in order to make this happen. Let them learn from your mistakes. Let them learn from your good choices. Teach them the value of paying themselves first, to save 10% of all they earn and to eventually invest it in something that will bring them income. This will help when your child is thinking about the future and what sort of profession they're going into. What is it that they want to go into? Do the math for them. What will they afford on this income?
When we've done this with students, most of the time, they're in shock. They need to make a connection between their actions now and what they will earn in the future. Not to do so is extremely unkind.
14. Encourage your children to have great relationships: A great friend is a great treasure and encourage your child to be a great friend and to recognize and value others who are the same. You can take the self esteem quiz and see how you both score. The results will show reveal to you both how good your relationships are with yourselves as well as with your friends. If used, this better parenting tip can be the beginning of some very good changes.
 15. Encourage your children to have great relationships with other members of your family: This means having aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents in your children's lives as much as possible, provided that of course, they are trusted, good people. Most extended family is and it is very important in creating a sense of indentity in a child. They will delight in family stories and see that they are part of a unit that is part of the human family. Families don't necesessarily need to be connected by blood, of course.
Sometimes North American society seems like a paradox: Most people embrace family values but many people don't want to be near family members outside the holidays. When family's are healthy, kids benefit. That means if you're divorced or divorcing, and you bad-mouth your ex-spouse, your child suffers. Every time. You can't implement all the other better parenting tips and ignore this one, no matter how difficult it may be for you. Remember that it's an additional burden to that child. If having a good or civil relationship is difficult, you might want to re-consider how you're dealing with it, if possible for the sake of your child. We know this may be difficult but better parenting tips are effective when they're used consistently in all areas and this one cannot be overlooked.
16. Use rewards as goalposts: They don't have to be big or expensive or involve food. Simply put, they just need to be a something that marks making a goal and it should be tangible. Tangible means that the child can see it, feel it, know that the reward is met. Also, they goal should be something that the child can work on everyday. Instead of saying, "If you get an 80% in this subject, I'll...", you should say, "If you do your homework and assignments for subject X, everyday for 30 minutes and get over 75%, then I'll..." Be realistic with rewards. If your child is struggling in a course, like getting a D, don't automatically go for an A because it might not be realistic. The term might be too far along, or the subject might just be too difficult. Go for a C-plus or a B. You may have come across other better parenting tips that have told you to set your standards unrealistically high too quickly. We want parents to have better relationships with their children and so this better parenting tip is great for several reasons, mainly because your child will appreciate being appreciated for their efforts.
17. Be aware of parent-teacher interview dates: If a child is not doing well, they may be too nervous to pass this info onto you. Know in advance. Schools know that children succeed best when there's parent-teacher interaction, so interact with teachers. Most teachers are over-worked, and have anywhere from 24 to 86 students. Your involvement in your child's education is greatly encouraged and we've seen positive improvements in student performance just after a brief meeting with a parent.
18. Greet your child's teacher within two weeks of a new year: Be friendly. You can call the school or send a note just introducing yourself and asking to speak with the teacher for a few minutes. Don't drop by without an appointment because it shows a lack of courtesy for the teacher's time and tell the teacher you think so little of his/her time that you can pop in anytime because whatever he or she is doing can't possibly be more important. Get off to a good start by being courteous and letting the teacher know that you want to support him/her with her child so that you both can do your best for him/her. Rather than ask the teacher for better marks, which will probably be perceived as bullying for marks, ask how your child can do better and what can you do at home to facilitate that? What skill/s does your child need to have in order to do better? Do they need to be better organized? To pay attention better? To review notes? The teacher will know and you can help your child at home. It's a win/win. Plus when your child know that you and the teacher are working together, they are much less likely to treat the work lightly or to make excuses like, "The teacher doesn't like me." If anything is going on at home, the teacher should know. No reasonable teacher will refuse a late assignment if there's good reason, but please don't be a parent who constantly makes excuses for your child's poor habits. It won't help them in the long run.
19. Ask your child's teacher about the curriculum: Our motto for better parenting tips is, "Better parenting is nosy parenting." Not only should you know who your kids are hanging out with, but also find out what should your child be learning. Some school boards have course and grade expectations easily available. Curriculum guidelines change from school board to school board, so we can't list them in here in our better parenting tips. This serves as a blueprint.
20. Remember, when it comes to how you parent, you have more power than you think: Parents sometimes make the mistake of thinking that their children's teachers have all the power to influence their children, but the truth is that's it's all with the parents, as it should be. Keep your power with your kids. That doesn't mean belittle them or boss them around, but make sure that you are in charge of your kids, not the other way around. You are much more qualified to be in charge of your kids than the other way around, right?
We've given you lots of better parenting tips that we've come up with from our years teaching. We know these work because we've seen them work over and over again. Starting trying them now.
When using these better parenting tips, remember our motto. That's right, "Better parenting is nosy parenting!" Go back to
better parenting tips 1-8.
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